I've squeezed the last drops from my heart
it's not even enough to bring these words to life
how can I feel this good when I'm so far down
walls painted with lies to make the world prettier

intoxicated eyes blur lines as real and unreal merge
I am the queen of my world {but the peasants are revolting}
candy coated pills hault the constant turning of my wheels
willingly drowning in guilt passed down to me like an old dress
I wear with prideful shame

words get trapped between the masks I wear
a different voice for each persona
being everything to everyone
losing myself in the process

I use to know myself
her and I were great friends
then she realized:
"I can have the attention I crave just by playing dress up."

the downward spiral of shape shifting
never knowing who I would be today
I'm still here under all that make up
under the clothes that call the eyes of others

I just can't help it
when I'm good, I've very good
but when I'm bad....
I'm the best you'll ever {never} have

that mentality gets me in a lot of trouble
it confuses people and myself
Am I really the bad girl they dream about
or just the good girl playing another role

either way it's just another hustle
another quick fix to get me through the moment
I've chased this dragon for twenty three years
I've become addicted to myself

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