I write because there are so many things I want to say to you but can’t
I write because there are so many things I want to say to you but you won’t listen
I write because I’m too scared talk to you, I’m too awkward to talk to you, I’m too nervous to talk to you
Since I can’t talk to you I’ll just have to tell you this way
I feel safe when I am with you
I look forward to your calls
But Don’t anticipate them
Or sit by the phone waiting for them
They just seem to come as a nice surprise
And when you don’t call for a few days I worry
Worry that I said something wrong last time we talked
Or worry that someone else is with you
Or worry that I messed everything up
So I sit down in front of the computer screen and spill everything out
Like how there are these three little words
That you sometimes say to me
When we are fully entwined
That for some reason I feel weird saying back
Not because I don’t want to
But I’m not always sure I feel it
But there are those other times I know I really do
And sometimes I’m scared to say it back
Because maybe that’s not what you really want to hear
Cause I know you
And I know that front you put up about hating relationships
But deep down inside I think we are both scared of the same things
And I know I’m awkward at times and for some reason that makes you smile
But when you talk dirty to me I can’t always respond
So I write it down along with other things
Like how I love the way you touch me
And the confidence and care in your hands as you caress me
And how you know how ticklish I am so you move your hands to caress me and tickle me and when I jerk up in protest you quickly kiss me and playfully laugh
I appreciate how playful you are when we’re alone cause it brings the tension down
And how. . I should spare the rest of the details because they really don’t need to be said here
But just know that everything is appreciated
And I think it’s cute the way we are both awkward around each other
That you are the one person that can actually keep up with me in a shit talking contest
And you have no problem being a smart ass back to me
But you always have to apologize for it to make sure I know it was all a joke
And the way that we both are so unsure of what is going on
That we don’t outwardly display anything in front of everyone
Not because were are scared of being judged but because we don’t want questions
Either that or you just hate the public display of affection
that everyone else seems to shove in your face as much as I do
But we haven’t really talked about all that yet so I’ll just assume
And what’s funny is that when I sit there and stare into your eyes I’m speechless
And all I can do is crack those awkward jokes that I do
And you just smile at me
But when I sit down and think and write I can’t shut up
And how this poem is only suppose to be about
Two minutes and thirty seconds long
But I can’t seem to shut up about you
Honestly, though, I write because I love you
