I dreamt of you again last night.
It was just like the last time I saw you.
I was happy,
yet there was a barrier between us
that I couldn't tear down.
I wanted to cry.
And now I still get that feeling
and I know it has something to do with you.
I shouldn't care,
I shouldn't be affected,
I shouldn't even think about it.
I especially shouldn't wonder
if you're all right.
I think I saw you yesterday.
I could be mistaken, I often am.
I wonder if you saw me.
I wonder if you thought about calling just to say hi.
I wonder if you wondered where I was going.
I wonder if your thoughts were anything like mine.
I think I wish I could keep on pretending
rather than having nothing.
I wish there was something.
I wish you needed me.
I wish I was the only one you could depend on.
I wish you came to me and begged for my help.
I would stare at you with disgust
because I have an idea of what you did.
Then, still glaring angrily,
I would soften and tell you "I'd do anything."